Inferiority Complex

My passion is a mountain I have to climb
Time after time
But I cannot make it to the top
My desire is vague
It slips through my fingers before i can think to grab on
I want to study
But I forget my purpose
Ventured nervously but willingly
Far away from home
At a very young age
With a sleepy silent return
The fine line between brave and utterly stupid
Has been erased
So I'm living on a diet of representative jokes
And liquid courage
Till a point where none of it seems
Real to comprehend
Where honesty is almost dull
Where i fail to tell whether I am afraid or sad
Or happy, or maybe I just don't care
Or maybe I am too afraid to care
Because i sense hollowness in me
Security of confidence disappearing in the crowd
Being inferior makes me feel safe
In the map of this constructive world
I feel like a mad man
Trying to convince
Kings to destroy territories

-Nirmohi